Derek's Rantings and Ravings 2.0

What the hell did those Chinese bastards do to Jack Muthafuckin Bauer, eh? He breaks down crying cuz he had to shoot somebody? Christ, wasn’t it just last season that he executed a fellow CTU employee just to have a chance at getting some information, and now he gets all skinned-knee girly-crying because he had to shoot Curtis in the shoulder?
I thought Jack was back, better than ever, last night, when he went all The Lost Boys on that guy, ripping his carotid artery out with his bare teeth, but now he’s gone completely 180º in reverse, pansy-style.
Also, seriously, a note for future government officials – Jack Bauer is never fucking wrong. Any time you find yourself wanting to second-guess him, could you please just remember that he’s saved the world more times than you’ve had sex, and quite probably he’s saved your life, personally, at least once. And every time a government official has ever doubted him, it’s always made the government look incompetent. SO, if you find yourself doubting him, just remember that the last fifty or so government officials to doubt him looked like retards later.
D and I were joking that “every time Jack crawls out of whatever hole he’s been in, the world goes to hell,” and that if I were President, there’d be an executive order that “If Jack Bauer turns up on the radar, today is an excellent day to test whether the