Back in August, I switched all my accounts away from SuperMegaBankingCorp to my local credit union.
I chuckled to myself when I noticed that they'd made the attempt to close my accounts without actually waiting (or accounting for) pending interest payments, and after they "closed" my account and sent me my check, they credited the savings account for, no lie, $0.01 in interest.
So, the account had been carrying a penny in it for the last four months. Today I got a statement in the mail indicating that they had decided to charge me the standard MegaCorp monthly fee of $9.50, leaving an account balance of $-9.49.
*dial*
CSR: Thank you for calling SuperMegaBankingCorp
.... identification phase ....
CSR: Thank you, Mr. Balling, how can I help you?
Me: I asked that this savings account be closed approximately four to five months ago. After I closed it, you credited a penny's interest to it. I figured you'd see the account was idle with a penny, see the mistake, and either close it out or send me a check for a penny. Instead you decided to start charging me monthly fees. How about I waive the penny you owe me, and you waive the additional $9.49 in charges it's in arrears for?
CSR: Yes, sir, you see, since your account is overdrawn right now --
Me: I know it's overdrawn. It's overdrawn only because you guys messed it up and didn't close it when I asked you to.
CSR: Can I put you on hold please?
Me: Certainly.
... giftmas hold music ...
CSR: Thank you for waiting. Did you receive any statements during that time frame indicating that you were carrying a balance?
Me: Yeah, sure. They showed a penny. I figured you had smart people working for you and would figure it out.
CSR: Please hold for a moment, sir.
Me: Sure.
... giftmas hold music ...
CSR: Mr. Balling, thank you for holding, I have Mr. Supervisor on the line and he will assist you further.
Me: OK.
Supe: Mr. Balling, how are you today?
Me: I'm fine.
Supe: Right now we show you have a balance of $-18.99 ---
Me: No, I have a negative balance as of my last statement, dated five days ago, of $-9.49, where did the additional $9.50 come from? Don't tell me - overdraft charge!
Supe: No, actually, the first $9.50 was charged 11/5, at the beginning of the statement cycle, and an additional $9.50 was charged the day after that statement printed, the beginning of the next statement cycle.
Me: Ah. Dumb, but ok.
Supe: So I understand you were expecting a check for a penny?
Me: No, I had zeroed the account balance, and told them to close the account. Then, after I told them to do that, a penny of interest was credited to the account.
Supe: Did you receive statements showing the penny?
Me: Yes.
Supe: Why didn't you call in to resolve the matter?
Me: Because it's a penny?
Supe: And?
Me: And I figured you guys would see an idle account, already scheduled as "to be closed", containing a single penny in it, and would either (a) send me a check for a penny, or (b) simply charge me $0.01 in some miscellaneous debit, and close the account out that way. You know, like how it would have been done if real people actually paid attention to stuff instead of computers running the show without any human interaction involved.
Supe: I see.
Me: As I told the girl, I don't want the penny, it's not worth my time. I just want the thing to go away.
Supe: Can I place you on hold for a moment?
Me: Sure can.
... giftmas hold music ...
Supe: Thank you for holding. I have reversed those charges and you should receive a check for zero dollars and one cent in the mail in 7-10 business days.
Me: Seriously, you don't need to do that.
Supe: Actually, sir, I really do.
Me: You can't just say "he was willing to accept $0.01 worth of the $19.00 in fees we'd assessed" and leave it at that?
Supe: No, sir.
Me: Well, if you want to spend $0.37 to mail me $0.01, who am I to argue. It's not like you guys can't afford to throw money away.
Supe: Is there anything else?
Me: Nope, have a good night.
Supe: Thank you for calling, blah blah blah...
Man... talk about inability to think outside the box a little bit.
You HAVE to put an image of that check online. I would LOVE to link to it on an almost daily basis as a perfect example of stupidity :)
Good god. That 1 cent they're paying you probably isn't even worth the paper its printed on, not accounting for the envelope and stamp.
Morons, morons, morons..
Oh well. What can you do eh?
Seems to me you should haver been accumulating interest on that penny. Oh wait, mega banks expect you to have a minimum balance of some ridiculous amount.
I have to say, I think if they had NOT given you your penny interest you would have posted a blog entry about how this bank STOLE your hard earned interest.
What do you think?
Nah... I can't get worked up about a penny. Heck, I think we should abolish the penny, so that pretty much sums up where I stand on that. :-)
HAHAHA- You got to post my aborthed rant from the other day.
Well I can tell you from experience that there are people out there who will get angry over a penny lost, I didn't work at a bank but at a cell phone company and we had people demand their 1-2 cent balances.