So I got a new cel-phone today from work. (I'll be carrying two phones, my own that I love and adore, and the cheezy, crappy, Cellular One phone that work provides). After I get home, I start customizing the settings on it, making it be "how I want it to be, etc., etc."
At some point, in the equation, the phone becomes completely unresponsive and says only:
Enter PUK Code:
So I call Hell One to find out what it's all about. Now, this is a huge college account. There's probably a hundred or so phones on this account I imagine...
CSR: Can you give me the billing address on the account?
Me: Blah blah blah
CSR: And your name?
Me: Blah Blah Blah.
CSR: You're not one of the authorized contacts, do you have the password?
Me: Nope.
CSR: What can I do for you today?
Me: I was changing the settings on my phone, and it now says "Enter PUK code," whatever that means.
CSR: That's a PIN Unlock code, it means your SIM card has locked itself up.
Me: So I need to enter something to make it stop?
CSR: Yes, but I can only give that info to the authorized contact.
Me: Right, that would be $NAME, but she's on vacation.
CSR: Correct, I do see $NAME as the authorized contact.
Me: So what should I do? She's on vacation, and this is my 24x7 call thing.
CSR: I can only give the PUK to an authorized contact. Do you have any way of getting in touch with her?
Me: It's called "vacation" for a reason. Who else is an authorized contact?
CSR: I could only give that information --
Me: -- to an authorized contact. Blah blah blah. We're a big college, man, I can't just go through the employee and faculty directory in alphabetical order asking if they're an authorized contact on the cellular account. You need to tell me at least who I should be speaking with to get this resolved.
CSR: Sir, there is only $NAME on the account. She is the only person listed.
Me: Seriously? You gotta be kidding me? So how the fuck do I get this broken phone resolved?
CSR: It's not broken. It's locked.
Me: Can I make calls on it? No? Then it's broken.
CSR: Would you like the number to the insurance company for Cell One phones?
Me: Is this phone covered with an insurance plan?
CSR: I couldn't tell you that --
Me: Fuck you. This attitude you've got right here? This is why I don't pay you guys a dime, and I've got my phone through Verizon. Let me speak to a supervisor.
CSR: One second please.
(some time goes by)
CSR: Sir, I spoke to my supervisor and he says that without you being an authorized person, we couldn't --
Me: Good, then he can tell me that himself when you put him on the phone. I no longer wish to talk to you, I wish to talk to him. Put him on.
CSR: One second please.
(some time goes by)
CSR: I have $SUPERVISOR, he will further assist you.
Supervisor: How can I help you today?
Me: My phone went into this "Enter PUK Code" mode all by itself, and I have no way of getting it to work.
Supervisor: We could only give that info to an authorized person on the account.
Me: Right, but $NAME is out on vacation, so I'm pretty well screwed, and this is supposed to be used for 24x7 on-call service.
Supervisor: How about $OTHER_NAME or $THIRD_NAME, can you reach them?
Me: They're authorized contacts?!
Supervisor: Yes, sir.
Me: That little fucktard told me definitively that there were no other contacts other than $NAME.
Supervisor: No, sir. Both $OTHER_NAME and $THIRD_NAME could get that information for you.
Me: Man, I'm glad I asked to speak to a supervisor. I managed to reach someone who wasn't either going to lie to me or just be too stupid to read the screen right. Thank you very much, I'll chat with $OTHER_NAME and get it all fixed up.
Classic.
Classic, I tell you!
I didn't realize Cellular One was still around.
I've had Cellular One for 5 plus years without any trouble! I get service in areas that you don't. Verizon included! Especially thru the rock-cut, Cell One ruled over Verizon.
Even at the Grand Canyon I got cell service.
As a "contact" person for our Nextel account where we have over 250 phones out there with drivers, staff, dispatchers etc, I wouldn't want anyone being able to "play" with a phone. If a problem exists with any phone for whatever reason, I want to know about it. We have drivers who figure out how to change passwords, then want to have phone updated by me and don't share the password. Now that is a pain in the ass and they get shoved to the back of the line in priority.
Just thought I'd put my couple cents into the mix.
Cell One does suck. I had a 30 minute "conversation" with a CSR a few years back over them not sending a bill and then turning off the phone with no notice after a measly 15 days. Not ignoring or paying a bill late, but not even getting one. So they just turn it off and then to cancel they want 60 days notice, so they wanted me to have a disabled account and then send them 60 days written notice. Hmmmm no way no how.
HELLO!!!!Why do you think Darth Vader (the REAL one) is spokesperson for Verizon. His agent tried to call HELLIER ONE and viola he's at Verizon.
Any phone company endorsed by the all-time sith lord is a phone company for me.......sorry the long dormant geek has finally come out and is waiting for October!!
I call bullshit Derek. Here's how I think your call actually went:
CSR: Can you give me the billing address on the account?
Me: Do you even know who you're talking to right now? This is Derek Fucking Balling, author of a MySql book and creator/producer of the "Derek's Rantings and Musings" blog.
CSR: I'm going to need at least a customer code.
Me: Did you even fucking hear me? I said MUSINGS AND RANTINGS.
*Dialtone*
Me: Believe me, you did not just hang up on Derek Balling.
..1 Minute later
Me: Hello? Seriously, Derek Balling needs this bad.
..another minute of dialtone
Me: Ok, here's the deal. If Derek Balling doesn't get this phone working pronto then I'm out of a job, and let's just say sales of that Derek Balling's MySql book aren't going "that well."
...
Me: Derek Balling signing off from another successful customer service call.
...
Me: Hello? Ok, seriously now Derek Balling is freaking out right now. FUCK, Derek Balling is really screwed.
...Now in tears
Me: Ok, Derek Balling is really hanging up now. Good bye forever.
Jim,
That was some funny-ass shit. :-)
D
I work for CellularONE. They only reason they weren't able to speak with you is because you were not authorized. If you had been authorized it would've been easier to help you. How would you feel if I called your bank and asked for information and they gave it to me freely? Security my friend, you'll be ranting about some company NOT using it one day!
Dear "Me",
Dipshit -- the main complaint isn't that they wouldn't talk to me but that they outright lied when it came down to "who could I get to call them that they would talk to".