*ring*
DB: Hello?
Some Guy: Hi, have you gotten ahold of David Ghent yet?
DB: What makes you think I know where he is?
SG: He gave us this number as a place to reach him. Last time I called here, you said he didn't live here any more.
DB: When, exactly, did he give you this phone number?
SG: I can find that out, but have you gotten in touch with him?
DB: Right. But where did you get, from our last chat, that I somehow would be finding him?
SG: You indicated he previously lived there.
DB: I've never met the fucking guy, what are you talking about?
SG: Oh, so now you're saying he's never lived there?
DB: He's never lived here with me.
SG: Then why did you say he had, when we talked last time?
DB: I said no such thing. I told you that I've had this telephone number for over two years, and I've never heard of the guy, but that, judging by the number of "deadbeat debtor" calls I get that are looking for him, the guy used to live at this telephone number.
SG: So you haven't heard of him.
DB: Are you even listening to me? I've heard of the guy. He's a fucking deadbeat, who appears to owe money to half the population of the State of New York, but he doesn't live here now, and I've never met him, and you better hope that you find him before I do, because I'm going to pound the shit out of him if I find him before he gets everyone paid off, simply by virtue of having to field all his calls.
SG: Ah, I see.
DB: Now when did you say he gave you this telephone number?
SG: (*clickety-click*) Back in 2000.
DB: OK, now you may want to consider, just consider that that was four years ago, and that's no longer valid, as I told you last time you called.
SG: OK.
DB: And if you do manage to find the guy, I suggest suing the hell out of him, right quick, so you can get in line behind the long list of other creditors who are, apparently, already seeking judgements against him, given the number of lawyers I've talked to over the last three months.
SG: I see.
DB: You can go away now.
SG: Thank you.
*click*
Recently in David Ghent - Deadbeat Category
As previously discussed, the former owner of my phone number is apparently a major dead-beat. I must get at least two to three calls a day for David Ghent. However, they've started going something like the one I got this afternoon...
*ring*
DB: Hello?
CSR: May I speak with Mr. David Ghent, please?
DB: Speaking. (there's absolutely no crime involved in me lying to some random fuckwit about my identity)
CSR: I'm name with collections company calling regarding the amount you owe creditor, I'm wondering if you'd like to pay that amount in full today, via a telephone check?
DB: Fuck you.
CSR: (stammers) Excuse me?
DB: Fuck you. You're not getting a dime from me.
CSR: Sir, I need to remind you this is an attempt to collect a debt (insert that long speech we've all heard at one time or another here)... Now, sir, you owe this money and need to make some sort of payment on it.
DB: Or what? What are you going to fucking do about it? Call me some more?
CSR: Sir, if you refuse to pay, we will be left with no choice but to press the matter via legal avenues.
DB: Go for it. I don't care. Even if I lose, I'm not paying you a dime.
CSR: Is there some reason you feel you don't need to pay what you owe, sir?
DB: I don't like you. You annoy me, creditor annoyed me too, that's why I didn't pay them. If you want to take me to court, that's fine, but don't ever fucking call here again.
CSR: You're saying that you wish this to go to court?
DB: Yes.
CSR: *chuckling* Very well, Mr. Ghent, I've noted in the account that you desire us to sue you, so I'll be happy to pass that recommendation along. Have a nice day.
DB: Bite me.
*click*
Maybe if I get enough of his creditors really pissed off at him, he'll update them with his correct contact info, seeing as how he hasn't had this number in about 18 months or so...
Two days ago...
*RING*
DB: Hello?
Automated System: This is Sallie Mae! It is vital that you call us regarding a student loan you are the co-signer for at xxx.xxx.xxxx. Again that number is xxx.xxx.xxxx (click)
DB: Grrrr