*ring*
DB: Hello?
*click*
*dial*
SS: Hello?
DB: Why do you keep calling my house?
SS: I dialed the wrong number, I won’t dial the number unless I have it in my hands, I promise.
DB: How many times are we going to go through this?
SS: I’m stupid.
DB: You’ll get no argument from me on that point. Don’t ever fuckin do it again.
*click*

*ring*
DB: Bert’s House of Tacos!
*click*
*ring*
DB: Who are you trying to reach, lady!?!
*click*
*ring*
DB: For the love of fucking Christ stop calling me!!!!
*click*
… ponder …
*dial*
SS: Hello?
DB: Why the hell do you keep calling me?
SS: I’m trying to reach my_number
DB: Why?
SS: I have it as belonging to some_name
DB: Has it not occurred to you over the last two weeks that you’ve been calling it and getting screamed at by me, having obscenities shouted at you, etc., that maybe, just maybe you’ve got the wrong fucking number?!?
SS: I’m sorry.
DB: Don’t ever call me again.
*click*

*ring*
DB: Hello?
*click*
guess who’s Caller ID info was presented? Yup, Sharon’s now familiar 845-679-0591!
*ring*
DB: Woodstock Taxi!
*click*
There’s just no pleasing some people. I wonder who she’s trying to reach now. I wish she’d say “Bert’s Taco Joint?” so I could start answering the phone the way she wants me to.

*ring*
DB: Hello?
*click*
(looks at Caller ID, sees the now familiar "SCHNEIDER, SHARO - 845-679-0591")
*ring*
DB: Look Sharon, no matter how many times you call this number, Woodstock Taxi will never be on the other end, it’s just the way it works!
*click*

10:45pm
*ring*
DB: Hello?
DF: Woodstock Taxi?
DB: (Looks at Caller ID, recognizes it from the other day) Fucking ‘ell lady, this isn’t Woodstock Taxi!
*click*
11:10pm
*ring*
(Looks at Caller ID)
DB: THIS IS NOT THE GODDAMN CAB COMPANY!!!
*click*
It’s funny, too, because I always give the Caller ID a second look, because Dumb Fuck’s name is “Sharon Schneider” (and, obviously, I was married to someone with a very similar name, so I always double-check to make sure I’m not about to scream at the ex when I pick up the phone).
So, since Dumb Fuck didn’t learn her lesson the first time, I’m open to suggestions on how to handle it if she persists in calling here looking for a cab company. This time, she got her name published. Maybe next time she does it, I’ll publish her phone number. Then you can all call her from all over the country/world and ask for a cab. 😉

*ring*
DB: Hello?
DumbFuck (DF): Is this Woodstock Taxi?
DB: No, you have the wrong number.
*click*
*ring*
DB: Hello?
DF: Woodstock Taxi?
DB: No. You have the wrong number.
*click*
*ring*
DB: This is not Woodstock Taxi.
*click*
*ring*
DB: Woodstock Taxi!
DF: Uhhhh, hi, I need you to pick up some medicine for me at the drug store, it’s already paid for.
DB: What drug store?
DF: Eckard’s
DB: In Woodstock?
DF: Yes.
DB: Where’s it going to?
DF: address_of_dumb_fuck
DB: And your name?
DF: Dumb Fuck
DB: and your phone number?
DF: phone_number … I just borrowed money to pay you will it be less than seven dollars?
DB: Yes. We’ll be there in about thirty minutes or so.
*click*